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1. Grace of the Guru
is the intensity of the faith you have in the guru's words that is most
important; once that is there, the grace flows automatically. The faith
in the guru is based on the consciousness within, faith in your Self. My
association with my guru was scarcely for two and a half years. The words
he gave me touched me very deeply. I abided in one thing only: that the
words of my guru are the truth, and he said You are the Absolute,
You are the Parabrahman". After that there were no more doubts and
no more questions. Once my guru conveyed to me what he had to say I never
bothered about other things - I hung on to the words of the guru. I know
exactly how transient this present state of affairs is, and I also know
the eternal state. I have no use for this ephemeral state. I understand
the false as false. Since I have found my true permanent state I have no
need for any of this; it has come on its own and it will go on its own.
In that fullness there is no need of any kind. I've had that state of fullness
after I met my guru; if I hadn't met him I would have lived and died as
an ordinary man. The deep, dark blue state, the shade that you can take
rest in, that is the grace of the guru. The darkness that you see when you
close your eyes, that is the shadow of the guru's grace. Always keep it
in mind; take rest in that shade of guru's grace.
Through the concepts of others you have built up so many things around you that you are lost. You are decorated and embellished by the concepts of others. The purpose of the guru is to tell you what you were like prior to the building up of all those concepts. Your present spiritual storehouse is filled up with the words of others - demolish those concepts. You must find out for yourself your own truth. Guru means the eternal state which will never change... what you truly are. You are that immutable, eternal, unchangeable Absolute. Guru tells you to get rid of all the walls built around you by the hearsay and concepts of others, which have kept you from your true nature.
Understand that the consciousness has arisen spontaneously in you, the Absolute. Once you are conscious of yourself you know you exist and you love this beingness; you do not want this beingness to depart from you, and it is this that makes you strive all day until sleep overcomes you, in order to keep the beingness satisfied. Then the guru tells you the true state of affairs, that this consciousness which you love so much is only an illusion. It is the basic cause of all unhappiness and your true state is before this consciousness arose. Understand this thoroughly, intuitively, beyond all words and concepts, but also know that if this understanding is just something happening in the intellect it will be of no use to you, because it will be at the level of phenomenal consciousness... concepts... and that consciousness is nothing but illusion. Whatever you know is imperfect, fraudulent. Go where you do not know. Recede into the source, into no form, no beingness; there you are perfect. Whatever you witness will not remain with you; it is imperfect. The one who recognizes the imperfect as imperfect is perfect; that one is complete in himself.
Have firm faith in the words of the guru. Nothing, nobody existed prior to you. When your beingness appeared then everything appeared. Understand that first moment when you understood that you are, the point at which everything arose. The source and the end are the same point. In the spiritual hierarchy going from the grossest to the subtlest, you are the subtlest. The very base is you, full and complete, without need for knowledge of who you are. Suddenly the space-like, all-pervading 'I amness' appears. Spontaneously, uncalled for, the beingness has come and is being witnessed by you, the Absolute. Later, this space-like 'I amness' disappears and the beingness goes back into oblivion. You remain in the eternal state, your true unchanging state. Prior to your beingness, nothing was... but you, the Absolute. After the beingness comes, still all there is is you, the Absolute. Without the beingness you, the Absolute, don't know you are. You are without any stigma, not covered by anything. You are the Paramatman, the core Self, the highest Self, the Absolute, subtler than space, beyond consciousness, beyond the 'I amness'.
In meditation, let your beingness merge in your Self, the non-dual state. Remain still. Do not struggle to come out of the mud of your concepts, you will only go deeper. Simply abide in the stillness. The Self has no occasion to say it exists; it is in eternity. When there is no body-mind there can be no practice; only the stillness of the Self remains
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